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Communicating Through Cupcakes by Lena Rivkin

by Lena Rivkin on June 15, 2011

Can you count the stars? Impossible! It’s just so comforting to look up and see that they are there, that you can count on them coming out every time.

Phillip Decorating The Cupcakes

Phillip Decorating The Cupcakes

That pretty much describes the way I feel when I’m hanging out with Phillip at his house when we’re baking cupcakes together. I look up at his face flushed with joy and watch as he adds the final touches – sprinkles, maybe – to the icing of his latest creation. In a fast-paced world, baking with Phillip is a quiet moment in time.

For those of you who read my previous article about him, you’ll remember that my older brother Phillip, who is severely autistic and nonverbal, loves to stitch needlepoint. I create the designs and Phillip is the craftsman. Our collaboration provides a special connection between our worlds – without words.

He has been living for twenty-nine years in a group home administered by New Horizons (a non-profit organization dedicated to helping adults with developmental disabilities) in North Hills, California, and attends a day program at Tierra del Sol in Sunland.

Since Phillip always exhibits a marked interest in repetitive behavior, we have engaged in needlepoint projects together at my house for years. And lately, we have been hanging out at the place where he lives to bake together. We particularly enjoy baking cupcakes.

Historically, a recipe for a small cake first occurred in the U.S. in a cookbook appropriately titled American Cookery. It was written by Amelia Simms in 1796. However, the actual word cupcake (because it’s the size of a teacup) was first used in 1828 by Eliza Leslie in Seventy-five Recipes for Pastry, Cakes and Sweetmeats. When Phillip and I bake cupcakes in 2011, we are entering into an innovative space where we can create an edible form of art.

Decorated Cupcakes

Cupcakes with all of the decorations

First, we line each section of the muffin pan with crinkly, colorful paper cups, a simple, repetitive process that Phillip enjoys. Then we make a host of cupcakes, ranging from – oh, red velvet cupcakes with vanilla cream cheese frosting or pineapple-carrot, or dark chocolate with raspberry frosting. (Did you know that the height of the frosting should be about one-third the height of the cupcake? Sometimes, when we are feeling really daring, we make the frosting one-half of the whole. It’s fun!) And we make strawberry and chocolate-almond, lemon-fudge or orange-spice cupcakes too.

The ingredients for cupcakes are all pretty much the same: butter, sugar, eggs and flour just like a standard layer cake. Yet, what we end up with is a creation.

For my birthday, we felt really expansive and made a full-size chocolate cake. We design our cupcakes differently every week, even though we start with a very ordinary cake mix. Sometimes we dip dried or fresh fruit into chocolate.

The visual effects are very important, just as they are when Phillip is keeping busy translating my designs into his meticulously-crafted needlepoint. In fact, while the cupcakes are baking, he works on his needlepoint.

Communicating Through Cupcakes with Friends

Communicating with friends through baking cupcakes

As with the needlepoint, there is a therapeutic process at work when we are baking. It involves eye and hand coordination as well as the joy of creation – and a sense of place.

Although I still take Phillip to my house and other places (museums, parks, stores and visits to friends), when we make cupcakes, we are enjoying being together in a consistent way in the place where he lives – his house. I feel that I am truly participating in his daily life with these home visits and learning about his activities, as well as the chores that are required of him.

I particularly enjoy getting to know the outstanding staff – Samir Qureshi (the House Manager, who is also an excellent cook) and another member of the staff, Jamie Page, who are both an essential part of our weekly baking activity with their supportive and positive help with the baking. I am also becoming closer to Phillip’s friends.

Everybody loves eating the cupcakes, so there is plenty of joy to pass around! Because the cupcakes bake quickly, while a tantalizing aroma fills the house, we don’t have to wait long to enjoy them.

Cupcakes have attracted wide interest today. In fact, cupcake-making has become a competitive “sport.” There are actually “cupcake wars” sponsored by food companies where people vie on television to win big prizes for the “best” cupcake recipe.

But Phillip and I, his friends and the supportive staff don’t want to enter our cupcake recipes into showcase competition. We simply love the warmth of making them and sharing them in friendship together.

Lena Rivkin, M.F.A., is an artist and graphologist living in Los Angeles.

Share Your Thoughts!
Sally Cook says:

It is so nice that the Rivkin family continues to add artistic joy to our world. Grandmother Jay’s creative design is on several things I see in my home everyday. Years ago, long before others knew it was not eco friendly to use paper bags, Jay put a beautiful design on sturdy canvas grocery bags that still are enjoyed.

Melissa Sokol says:

I love stories about all the ways people share their love for life. Thanks Lena, -Melissa

Stuart Kasin says:

As a parent of a 9 year old child with autism, I am comforted by the words Lena has written. Lena captures the essence of what really matters. She made me stop and remember the beauty in things that are constant. I haven’t visited New Horizon and met Phillip, but do proudly own a piece of his art and can not wait for a cup cake. New Horizon is lucky to have someone as active as Lena – a true shining star. She makes me feel a part of the organization.

Having been on boards and run companies, I value that type of relationship. Thanks Lena and Phillip and the folks at New Horizon!

Stuart Kasin

linda says:

Reading the article, I was transported to your kitchen smelling the tantalizing baking smell of the little cakes that give us joy. I feel teaching cupcake making can transform war torn countries by bringing smiles to everyone’s face. You and Philip connect on a genuine level of communication to sharing feelings. I loved reading the story. I learned two people I care about and learned some history. Boy I would love to enjoy one of those cupcakes now. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

Charisse Webster says:

Baking together is such a wonderful way to share love and creativity! Art in the kitchen! Thank you Lena for sharing such great ideas! Looking forward to reading another post from you!

Nancy Nadel says:

Thanks for this inspiring story Lena. I agree with you that when a sibling can spend time with their brother or sister in their environment it is so valuable to experience what their life is really like. For myself I often feel a fine line between acting like a “parent” and treating my disabled sibling as an equal. I find too that being on their “turf” can create the bond you speak of and forge lasting memories of quality time spent together as siblings.
Also thanks for your suggestions of fun creative activities and outings one can do with a sibling

Terry Laszlo-Gopadze says:

Thank you Lena for opening our awareness and our hearts to
creative ways to be with people who have autism. I’m very
touched an moved by your story. May all of you continue
to enjoy each other and have fun!

I hope to find another blog from you!

Terry Laszlo-Gopadze
“The Spirit of a Woman”

Cynthia Kawa says:

I am proud to see Phil and Lena Rivkin making these wonderful cupcakes in our New Horizons kitchen! They look fabulous and I am sure that the rest of the residents in the homes loved them!

We are lucky to have these two creative people involved in our organization!

Cynthia Kawa, CEO
New Horizons

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