While caring for your autistic child does come with certain rewards and a sense of fulfillment, it can also be overwhelming at times and can lead to burnout especially if you feel that you are over your head with responsibilities.
Preventing burnout is important not only for yourself but also for your child as interacting with a burned out parent will likewise be very stressful for your child. If you want to be the best parent for your child, you need to take care of your needs as well.
Here are some tips to help prevent burnout -
1. Take a break from time to time
While taking care of your autistic child is your main priority, keep in mind that you also need to take some time for yourself to recharge and relax. Do not feel guilty about taking a break as doing so will also be beneficial for your child. Keep in mind that when you are tired and stressed, there is a higher tendency to be irritable and impatient and your child will definitely not benefit from that.
2. Acknowledge your feelings.
Taking care of an autistic child can sometimes take its toll and can trigger some difficult emotions such as depression, anger, resentment, fear and guilt. While it is easier to push these emotions aside, doing so will not be a good idea. You need to acknowledge your feelings and you need to allow yourself to feel what you feel.
Do not keep your emotions bottled up. Share your emotions with your family or trusted friends. Do not hesitate to speak with a professional if you feel you need it.
3. Accept help
When well-meaning family and friends offer to help, there is sometimes a tendency to refuse the offer because you do not want to inconvenience the person who offered to help. Keep in mind that they will not offer if they know that they won’t be able to handle your child. Graciously accept the offer and take this time to recharge.
It is very important that you get the support that you need before burnout occurs. There is strength in knowing that you are not alone and that there are people who are willing to help you and your child.
Giselle,
I hear what you are saying. My son along with his autism, he has several other serious medical issues to deal with. I don’t have the key to either of our situation. All I know is what I do to find a time to be good to myself. And that means take care of myself. Don’t overindulge in things that can affect my health such as: over-eating, eating junk (if you wouldn’t give it to your child because of the chemicals and preservatives, why would you eat it!), inactivity just to name a few.
I try to find a good place to relax. Whether, it is doing yoga early in the AM. Having a special place to read or brows through a magazine. Or just to sit with your thoughts.
When I find myself tensed up, I remind myself to take a few deep breathes. Cuz, when I am tense, I hold my breath.
I garden, take time in the yard to let my son do his thing. Swinging, running through the sprinkler….And if you don’t have a garden. Find a nice park. And a time you and your child/children can spend time not worried about other glances and snide remarks. Sometimes, it might need to be an off time when other people are busy doing other things than to be in the park.
I don’t have the funds to go to the spa, or on a vacation…to find anyone reliable to care for my son is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Sometimes talking to someone who is in the same boat. Like you and I. I still haven’t found that person. But you here on the internet. We could keep in touch if you prefer to….I am ok with that.
My email address is: 3stibbs@att.net, if you would like to start there…..
If I haven’t been of any help with my suggestions. I hope I can be of help to let you know….I understand your concerns. Just remember your concerns, are concerns of a Great Mother….you are doing the best you can. And don’t forget to breathe. Take care
It’s good advice. Really good advice, but what about when you have no-one who can take the kids? No well-meaning friends or neighbours, no family nearby and your husband is feeling the burn even more than you?
I’m so glad you posted this, only because I too have no support system in place. My husband also helps and also gets burnout. My son isn’t formally diagnosed, but we have confirmed that he definitely shows autistic behavior. I just wanted to say thanks for posting this… It’s good to know i’m not alone.
Advice for parents in this sort of situation would be nice.